Terça-feira, 29 de Novembro de 2005

For Lillie

Lembram-se de há uns dias ter falado de uma "fã" estrangeira do UJ, que me mandou um mail, em que ela dizia o seguinte?




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"Why, oh why, have I never learned Spanish so that I could understand the text that goes with these marvelous photographs? Why, oh why, am I not able to understand the words of someone who can create such visual pleasure via romance combined with just a touch of wicked cruelty?
And why, (oh why?) is it that one of my favorite songs by Prince is one of the few things I understand in your blog?"

Lillie



Pois é, continuei a corresponder-me com ela, nasceu nos Estados Unidos... o pai é Irlandês, a mãe norte americana. Afinal ela conhecia Portugal... apenas não conseguiu distinguir na escrita se eramos espanhois ou portugueses... tanto que me perguntou se a minha "selva urbana" era Lisboa!

Hoje recebi um mail dela, a dizer-me que também tinha começado um blog há pouco tempo... resolvi ir até lá e ver do que se tratava. Sabem o que encontrei? Uma mulher como nós, que vive exactamente os mesmos problemas que nós... uma mulher que encaixaria na perfeição no UJ... um mulher que enfrenta a tragédia da doença e da morte!

A mãe tem um cancro, e ela acompanha-a na sua caminhada para a morte... conta-nos no seu blog o que sente.. os medos, as angustias, a vontade que tem de desaparecer, o egoismo e o amor que sente enquanto a doença vai consumindo a mãe tanto fiscia como psicologicamente... mede 1.70 e já só pesa 36 kilos.

É um texto escrito de maneira simples, mas cheio de sentimento. Deixei lá um comentário a dar-lhe algum conforto, e gostaria de pedir a todos os paineleiros, que perdessem alguns segundos do pouco tempo que têm para fazer o mesmo... tanto aqui como lá... Peço isto, porque sei que vocês o irão fazer com todo o carinho do mundo.
Deixo aqui um dos textos dela, infelizmente escrito em inglês...</p>

Sunday, November 27, 2005
Home for a Day

This is harder than I thought it would be, in ways that I never expected. Mom was very glad to be home and I'm glad I could take her there.

She weighs about 80 lbs in the 5'7" frame. Like a concentration camp survivor. I cook for her, she eats 3-4 bites of what I cook but can't manage any more. We talk, when she is able to, and we listen to lots and lots of NPR, jazz and blues. She says she is the incredible shrinking woman. She is right.

The hardest part is that no one will say, including her, that she is dying -- but we all know it. Cancer has metastisized, she sleeps about 18 hours a day. But she always says, "I'm okay. I'll be fine. I'm just weak." My brother says, "She needs to eat and get more exercise." How does she do those things? It is as if everyone thinks that next week she will be driving herself to the doctor, when in fact there is nothing more the doctor's can do.

The second hardest part is the loneliness. What to do when she is sleeping? People call and say, "How are things?" I'd like to say, "They suck and she is sleeping all the time and she can't eat and I want to cry." But she is sitting right there and, since we are not talking about death, I can't say much. I can't say, "I'm lonely and scared and I want to go home and sleep in my own bed.

I look at her a dozen times a day to see if she is still breathing. I want to pull her tiny emaciated body into my lap and rock her but I'm afraid I'll hurt her." I can't say these things because she is right there with me, and I am being cheerfully hopefull.
I did tell her that I want to hold her on my lap and she said she wanted to do the same for me.
"You want to hold me in your lap?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Momma, I weigh twice as much as you!"
"Yes, but I'd still like to."

Tomorrow I go to work to read however many dozens of emails there will be. I will delegate about 4 of them, take care of about 2 of them and delete the rest. The next day, I go back for another week with mom.

On Saturday, I will meet with about a dozen close friends to celebrate my birthday (yesterday). We will meet at a good restaurant for dinner and then go dancing. There will undoubtedly be a lot of alcohol and flirtation until the dawn hours. Can't wait to go...

posted by Lillie | 7:20 PM | 0 comments
in: http://unsheltered.blogspot.com/


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To you Lillie: A song that I hear when life isn´t so good as it should be! "STRONG" Reamonn


I See The Fear In The Things We Don't Understand
I See The Fear In Another Blind Man
I Can't Hold Back This Fight That Stills Inside
I Can't Hold Back Who I Am


I Know You're Strong
I Know You Belong
I Know You Are Strong
My Beautiful One




Impressão Digital Cereza às 03:12
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32 comentários:
De Selvagem Anónimo a 29 de Novembro de 2005 às 04:01
Oi sou nova por aqui e to conhecendo os blogs adorei a musica e os posts muito legal tudo por aqui .... um gde abraço £.
P.S.Poxa nao consigo alterar a cor dessa caixinha onde digitamos as mensagens como tu fez isso hein ? rss prabensssssssss eu nao to conseguindo rss fuieeeeeee£µåM¢£
(http://luamel.blogs.sapo.pt)
(mailto:r.enluarad@terra.com.br)


De Selvagem Anónimo a 29 de Novembro de 2005 às 09:18
bem...eu só percebi partes do texto pq nunca fui muito "dada" a linguas, percebo inglês mas o mais básico. :x
To you Lillie a big Kiss and one I hug pressed!! (será que escrevi bem?)devil_girl
(http://..)
(mailto:joana.patrici@sapo.pt)


De Selvagem Anónimo a 29 de Novembro de 2005 às 10:14
devil_girl tá optimo :) bem bonita a tua atitude! *cereza
</a>
(mailto:lis_tv@hotmail.com)


De Selvagem Anónimo a 29 de Novembro de 2005 às 10:36
Linda atitude a tua, Cereza, os meus parabéns! * O meu comentário está no blog da Lillie.Safira
</a>
(mailto:ana.f.ferreira@hotmail.com)


De Selvagem Anónimo a 29 de Novembro de 2005 às 10:37
Bem, é complicado escrever o que quer que seja... Não porque não hajam palavras, mas sim pelo texto e situação em si... daqui a pouco escreverei algumas palavras em inglês...Criador_Sonhos
(http://criadorsonhos.blogspot.com)
(mailto:criadorsonhos@gmail.com)


De Selvagem Anónimo a 29 de Novembro de 2005 às 10:58
Memory is a transcendental function. But it attaches itself only to bodies.Joyce Carol Oates.

Lena
</a>
(mailto:bonecarussa@hotmail.com)


De Selvagem Anónimo a 29 de Novembro de 2005 às 11:39
Este blog que tu divulgas, é muito bom. Toca-nos, emociona-nos. Obrigada pela dica. Angela
(http://www.lightbubbles.blogspot.com)
(mailto:lightbubbles@gmail.com)


De Selvagem Anónimo a 29 de Novembro de 2005 às 12:20
“Tears were falling down through my face while I was reading the text…

I admire your strength and your amazing devotion…

Words cannot express what I’m feeling this moment…

I’m sorry…

A huge kiss and keep on…”


Criador_Sonhos
(http://criadorsonhos.blogspot.com)
(mailto:criadorsonhos@gmail.com)


De Selvagem Anónimo a 29 de Novembro de 2005 às 12:20
“Tears were falling down through my face while I was reading the text…

I admire your strength and your amazing devotion…

Words cannot express what I’m feeling this moment…

I’m sorry…

A huge kiss and keep on…”


Criador_Sonhos
(http://criadorsonhos.blogspot.com)
(mailto:criadorsonhos@gmail.com)


De Selvagem Anónimo a 29 de Novembro de 2005 às 15:22
Lillie…
Some call it faith, some call it love //Some call it guidance from above //You are the reason we found ours//
So thank you stars.//Some people think it's far away// Some know it's with them everyday// You are the reason we found ours //So thank you stars. // There are no winds that can blow it away on the air //
When they try to blow it away 's when you know it will always be there.// To some it's the strength to be apart// To some it's a feeling in the heart //And when you're out there on your own, it's the way back home.// There are no winds that can blow it away on the air// When they try to blow it away 's when you know it will always be there. //Some call it faith, some call it love// Some call it guidance from above//
You are the reason we found ours. // So thank you stars.//Thank you stars //Thank you stars //Thank you stars.//To you Lillie,the song ´´Thank you Stars—The Katie Melua---You must be strong now. You must never give up. And when people make you cry and you are afraid of the dark, don't forget the light is always there." ... I kiss you :)*
marta
</a>
(mailto:martax_30@hotmail.com)


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